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When this baby was delivered to us straight from the hospital nursery, I knew one thing: families belong together. This baby should be with her mama, and mama should be with her baby. When that isn’t possible—because there are barriers like a lack of safety, health, or consistent supervision—foster homes are a common stopgap.

You may be surprised by my word choice, but the primary goal of foster care is family reunification, which means foster care is intended to be a temporary solution.

The primary goal of foster care is family reunification, which means foster care is intended to be a temporary solution.

Our family has been fostering for most of the last eleven years, and during this time, while we are standing in for family—while I’m filling the role of mom—at the front of our minds is the goal of family reunification. My actions are aimed at advocating for and working toward that goal.

Studies from Berrick (2011) and Malm (2011) show that foster parents who maintain a positive view of birth families and actively support reunification contribute to better outcomes for children and families alike.

Of course, there are times when reunification can’t happen, but even then we can still work to preserve relationships. We can give mom a place of honor in her child’s life (and therefore in the life of our family) that dignifies and values her. We can invite her to share in the life of the child she birthed, depending on safety. (Considering safety is much different than considering comfort. Building these relationships can often be awkward, but meeting in public places is very rarely unsafe.) We can include siblings, grandparents, and aunties in this relationship preservation, too. We can refuse to let the child’s first family disappear from the child’s life.

We can give mom a place of honor in her child’s life (and therefore in the life of our family) that dignifies and values her.

In foster care, biology matters AND love and safety matter. Providing ALL of these in our home is in the best interest of the child.

Having community like we’ve found at Foster Village Northeast Kansas helps us—and other foster families like ours—support healthy reunification. We connect with other families through family events and support groups, which gives us an opportunity to be with others who share the same types of challenges and joys.

But my favorite thing about Foster Village Northeast KS? Support isn’t limited to foster families; the same services are extended to reunifying and kinship families. Because every parent deserves a chance to rebuild—and every child deserves to be with family when at all possible.

Because every parent deserves a chance to rebuild—and every child deserves to be with family when at all possible.

➡️ Help spread foster care awareness in your community. Sign up to host a "Build the Village" presentation in your home, church or business.

Amy Bowling is a textile artist who loves creating with color. She is also a licensed foster mom and lives in Topeka with her husband Kevin and their family. She currently serves on staff as Support Groups Coordinator at Foster Village Northeast KS. Amy is passionate about advocating for reunification with biological families, foster parenting with a focus on attachment, and helping foster moms connect with one another.